For over a decade, I have had an approach/avoidance relationship with meditation. At first I tried to read a book and listen to a tape on how to meditate. Suddenly, it occurred to me . . . instead of following someone else’s directions and process, just be my spirit. One of the first times I sat in meditation, just being my spirit, I had the most amazing experience that words cannot begin to describe. After that, I chased the experience . . . except I could never catch it.
Be my spirit. . . . Be my spirit . . . Be my spirit. For a long while, that meant only one thing to me . . . make that AMAZING experience happen again. Except I couldn’t make it happen again. No matter what I tried, it wasn’t going to happen.
Let it go. Just breathe. Follow the breath . . . Inhale . . . Exhale . . . Inhale . . . Exhale . . . In . . . Out . . . In . . . Out . . . Nothing happened. Time passed. I breathed. Nothing got done, internally, in my spirit or psyche, or externally on my to-do list. What a waste of time!
Needing inner peace, solitude, inner connection, I kept getting the urge to meditate again. So I sit and breathe . . . In . . . Out . . . In . . . Out . . . tick, tick, tick . . . time passes . . . nothing happens.
Suddenly, a flash of insight changes everything. I AM SITTING WITH GOD!!! What else needs to happen? That’s all that matters.
Being still in the presence of God.